Hey Sugar Baby, Who's Your Daddy?

The term Sugar Baby is not to be confused with that super annoying high pitched mousy guest star on the Mad Dog and Billie Show from 2000.

With the click of a button you can order almost anything online these days, including an attractive university student. It is perfectly legal and it’s becoming a growing trend in Toronto.

Nowadays with the ever-increasing costs of tuition, female students known as Sugar Babies are seeking well-to-do business men to fund their education. Who needs a scholarship or bursary when you have Mr. Big footing the bill?  

A recent article written by Alex Ballingal published in the Toronto Star  revealed that Ryerson University has the most Sugar Babies compared to all the other post secondary schools in the city. Yikes! The article stated a shocking 183 students have signed up for ‘Seeking Arrangement’, the elite sugar daddy dating site for those seeking “mutually beneficial relationships”. The extremely cautiously and cunningly written website really pulls at your morals and values.

“You know you deserve to date someone who will pamper you, empower you, and help you mentally, emotionally and financially.” Yes I do, but shouldn't I be enjoying those things because they are staples of a healthy relationship?

And just how much ‘help’ are we talking about? On average Toronto Sugar Daddies spend $4,027 a month on their babies! And get this, over 40% are married. (That’s a whole other blog...nasty, cheating men.) In exchange for all those dollar bills, fancy dinners and lavish gifts, the Sugar Babies trade off their “companionship.”

A fancy word for S-E-X.

“It’s a way to find a relationship that is win-win,” says Brandon Wade, who founded the site in 2006. You’ve probably seen him on 20/20, Dateline,CNN or Dr.Phil with his 26 year old sugar baby wife that he claims he didn’t meet on the site. (And I bet she’s not with you for your money either.)

I have to pull out my John Stossel on this one. GIVE ME A BREAK!

These are merely nicely dressed and well fed prostitutes. Yet Wade maintains that his million dollar site is not the latter because here, sex is not a requirement. Regardless, I’m sure it’s almost always a defining factor. Call me naive, but I don’t suppose these older men are paying huge amounts for school and gifts to simply walk around with arm candy. I’m not buying it.

I graduated from Ryerson two years ago, so I am well aware of the rising cost of tuition, but isn't the point of getting a higher education so that you won’t have to sell yourself?

This subject matter hit mainstream TV in this season of 90210 when Annie Wilson (Shanae Grimes) became an high paid escort to pay for her brothers rehab. Her situation was not much different than the students applying on Seeking Arrangement. She was strapped for cash and encountered a business man that would meet all of her needs if she agreed to meets his sex companionship needs.

And who could forget the $464 million dollar grossing romantic comedy ‘Pretty Woman’ starring Julia Roberts as the kindhearted escort Vivian Ward. I admit it’s one of my favorite movies but never would I ever put a price on my body to pay for school or anything else for that matter.

After coming across numerous ‘Pro-Sugar Babies’ comments online, I started to wonder if I was the only one that thinks this is wrong.  So after serving a couple glasses of wine, I asked my girlfriends to ensure I’d get the truth. Conversation veered off track a couple times to all designer things we would buy with a $4000 a month but when I cornered them for an answer, they each said “It just wouldn't feel right.” Whew! What a relief.

But for Danielle, a 20 year old U of T student on Seeking Arrangements, it feels perfectly fine. She requests a monthly allowance of $10,000 to $20,000 PLUS expensive gifts and vacations. Ironic, isn't it? Here’s a woman that clearly knows what she thinks she’s worth, yet she has no self worth at all.

When did objectifying our bodies in order to get ahead become an acceptable thing to do?

Just because times are hard and it seems like the economy is falling down doesn't mean your pants have to too.

Get in on the debate. Leave a comment below!

A Letter to my Boyfriend: Its Over!

If you were intrigued to read this post based on it's title, then like the rest of us, you love to read about other people’s business. Shame on you! Kidding...I really can't blame you. Through social media  we have invited each other into our lives by over-sharing details of what we eat, feel, think and do. We're constantly in contact but are we losing touch of truly being connected? If you haven't realized by now, this is not a letter to my boyfriend, but keep reading, its still scandalous. 

A few days ago, The Real Housewives of Atlanta Porsha Stewart found out that her husband and former NFL star Kordell Stewart was filing for divorce on Twitter. Ouch!

But here’s the kicker, he was still in the house when she read the tweet! Now if that doesn't make you want to get all Angela Bassett in Waiting to Exhale on his behind, then I don't know what will! (If you don't know this scene, it's an angry black woman at her worst best.

"Take your #&$% and get out"

Let’s be honest, this isn't the first time celebrities have broken up over social media. Back in 2011, NBA star Kris Humphries claimed that he found out Kim Kardashian was filing for divorce just like the rest of us...by reading TMZ!

Clearly, there’s something in the water. 

It seems like social media can connect us with the world but its disconnecting us from each other.

I know girls that would rather subtweet their feelings than call their boyfriend to tell them that they’re upset.

“When he reads my status, he’ll know what the deal is.” Yeahhh, and so will the rest of the world! When you finally make up and post “He’s my soul mate, I love my babe,” all we can remember is how you told him off just last week.

Look, I get it. We've all had the urge to go on a Twitter rampage when our boyfriend gets on our nerves. But ladies, we need to check ourselves before we hit send. Perhaps we need to reinstate the throwback method of writing our feelings in our diary when we're upset. Hey, if its good enough for Oprah then its good enough me!

Seriously though, arguments should be kept private. By you putting it out there that you’re unhappy with your man, another girl might see that as the perfect opportunity to come in for the steal. And before you know it, you’re on sidelines looking for a new player. All is fair in love and sports right...

Now here is what you fellas need to understand. Maybe your girlfriend wouldn't be posting her frustration if you took a minute to rethink your social media choices too. The Instragram photo that you just 'liked' of the Brazilian model's butt cheeks with the comment “Hola mamacita, smiley face, wink face, tongue face" is probably not going to be okay. Even if you were "just joking". Whatever.

Tweeting something that was intended to be innocent may not translate that way to your girlfriend. When communicating face to face we have the ability to interpret one’s tone of voice, facial expression and eye contact. But all these things are foreign when it comes to Twitter and Facebook.

So, next time you're tempting to post something about your relationship online, think twice before you press send.

Just How Far Should Coaches Go?

Whether it's on the road, in relationships or at work, when someone loses control it often ends up on the web.  And for NCAA basketball coach Mike Rice, this reality is surely hitting home.

Rice found himself out of a job after a video of him hitting, shoving and berating his players with anti-gay slurs went viral. The taunts are surely a sensitive topic at Rutgers. It's the same university where student Tyler Clementi committed suicide in 2010 after his roommate used a webcam to spy on him kissing another man.

The tape made headlines after it was aired on ESPN's Outside the Lines. But surprisingly, Rice's inappropriate coaching style wasn't breaking news to the school. 

Rutgers athletic director Tim Pernetti was given the video back in November of 2012. However, in agreeance with the university president they chose to suspend Rice for three games, fine him $50,000 and order him to attend anger management classes. A decision Pernetti is now calling a mistake. Ummm, ya think?!

So this makes me wonder...Are we now becoming a society that places so much importance on winning that the needs of athletes are being neglected? And are parents now making a deal with the devil by turning their children over to coaches who will use whatever means necessary in order to produce champions?

While for three years Rice's players suppressed the abuse, Los Angeles Laker superstar Kobe Bryant says "he would have smacked the hell out of him." So why didn't any of the players retaliate against Rice's unacceptable behavior? I'm sure some of them are well aware that if they dared to challenge Rice they could kiss their playtime goodbye. But for others, it may not register as abuse, just his "coaching style".

So the question is, how far do YOU think coaches should go? What is acceptable?

So Your iPhone Just Dropped in the Toilet...Now What?

It happened to a friend of a friend of mine. Okay, I'm lying. It happened to me but you've probably experienced the same thing too. Let me set the scene...

It's New Year Eve, one of the most anticipated party nights of the year and you're tiptoeing on the point of having one too many. You're laughing, having an gay old time until you decide to break the seal and head to the bathroom. Naturally, you bring your cellphone with you because your state of "separation anxiety" will be too much to bear for those 84 seconds. So, you shove it in your back pocket. Ah yes! The back pocket. It seems like the safest place during your current state of mind but the next series of events are bound to prove otherwise. You lock the door behind you, make a duck face (see Exhibit A) in the mirror and promise yourself that water will be the next shot you take. You undo your belt... blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda...you know what happens next.

Exhibit A: Le Duck Face

Your beloved iPhone or Blackberry (no comment) is sinking quickly to the bottom of the toilet bowl. WHAT DO YOU DOOO!? That's a rhetorical question, because the answer is pretty obvious. You dive your hand into that germ infested toilet bowl to fish it out. Now you watch as the screen slowly fades to black and the one item that you cherish more than anything dies in your arms. You begin to feel the same way you did at seven years old when you watched Bambi's mother get shot. Helpless. In your mind, this is a travesty, a tragedy and all that is in between. But I'm writing this blog to tell you that this couldn't be further from the truth. When this exact situation happened to me two weeks ago, I immediately felt all these emotions but then seconds later I thought to myself "who cares!" (I know I've lost some of you but trust me keep reading).

I put my phone in a bowl of rice since every blog told me that it was the only way that I could bring my phone back to life. And then I did the craziest thing ever... I enjoyed my week without my iPhone. NO SERIOUSLY! I didn't spend my spare time reading everyone's random thoughts on Twitter, seeing what they were eating on Instagram or what they wish they had on Pinterest. I picked up a book and read. And heck, it was the most carefree and relaxing week that I've had in a long time. And seven days later, my phone came out of its coma. Moral of the story, sometimes in order to get the me time that we deserve, you have to put down the iPhone.

I dare you.

Forgiveness, Role Models and Rihanna.

As if you haven't already had enough of their story, Chris Brown and Rihanna are at it again! Get ready for chapter two. To be honest, I'm not sure whether I should applause, laugh or disapprove of their relationship at this point. If you're not up-to-date on the latest CBR love triangle then, here it is! Chris Brown recently broke off his year long relationship with his model girlfriend Karrueche Tran to "work on his friendship" with his ex, Rihanna. Crazy, right? Uhh not really, since on August 19th  Rihanna had a honest, open, revealing conversation with Oprah about her feelings for Chris Brown. Not only did she admit that she is still in love with him but she stated he is the "love of my life." Whether or not that is true, we will find out in due time as they attempt to rekindle what was "lost" nearly three years ago.

What I find very interesting is not the latter statement but the one that followed. Sadly the one that the media turned into a negative. "I have forgiven him," she stated, "although I was angry for a long time." The uproar that ensued the moment those words left her lips went viral. Everyone had an opinion; and very few were kind. But my question is: why shouldn't she forgive? Don’t we all cherish forgiveness? In kindergarten aren't we taught to forgive our peers when they steal our crayon? Doesn't the bible say that we should forgive our neighbours seventy seven times seven times? So then, when did forgiving someone become the wrong thing to do? 

I don't respect Rihanna much, but for that statement I do. It's not easy to turn the other cheek after being publicly humiliated. You have to dig deep. Do a lot of soul searching. Blot out the incessant noise of the public’s expectations and grow from your experience. It seems like she has done that and is now moving forward. I truly commend her on finding peace with the issue. So whats everyone's beef then?

A role model? Really.... The problem is: society has labeled Rihanna as some sort of role model for young girls. This is beyond my comprehension! Absolutely nothing Rihanna does screams role model in my opinion. From her explicit lyrics, her revealing clothing, to the inappropriate pictures posted on her instagram. It is troublesome to think just what she is modelling  for the young people who idolize her. If Rihanna is a  role model maybe we should consider redefining the word or start paying close attention to what the term really means. We should ask what role is being modelled by these public figures for the young impressionable minds.  Better yet, maybe we should not have Hollywood raising our children.  Role models should begin in the home, in schools, in churches, not in music videos and rap lyrics. Just because someone likes an artist's musical abilities doesn't automatically mean that they should admire and aspire to be that person. These are the types of values that need to be taught around the kitchen table. If the TV continues to raise the next generation, we will end up  with a lot of Rihanna and Miley Cyrus wannabes running around, and to me, that's just scary...

That's my view, whats yours?

I Don't Want A Thanksgiving Food Baby!!

Since 1957 it's been a tradition for Canadians to give thanks for good harvest and other fortunes in the past year on the second Monday of October. Now I’m not sure if you've checked your calendars lately, but that date is right around the corner! Thanksgiving, aka the BEST holiday of the year is here and I couldn't be happier!! There’s no stress of what gifts to buy loved ones, I can find a seat at church no problem, my bank account balance remains in the positives and there are no teenagers ringing my doorbell asking for candy when they should be at part time jobs. Thank God for Thanksgiving!

BUT shortly after the praise and gratitude, there’s a lot of anger and dislike…towards ourselves. Why? Plain and simple, we ate too much! So now we’re walking around looking four months pregnant because of those four extra servings of pumpkin pie! Did you know an average plate of thanksgiving dinner contains 1600 to 3000 calories! It's easy to go overboard with temptations  lurking in every corner.  I know we've all been there before.  Yet last year we said we’d do better but did we? Of course not! So here is my guide on how NOT to be a stuffed turkey this Thanksgiving.

Tip #1 Don’t starve yourself all day. You know when you’re going to an All-You-Can -Eat restaurant for dinner so you swear off food 24 hrs before so you can get your “all you can eat” money’s worth? Yeahhh, don’t do that. You're 100% bound to overindulge.
Tip #2 Be a social butterfly. If you talk while you eat, you give your brain a chance to register that you've had enough. Contrary to my cousins’ beliefs, Thanksgiving isn't an eating competition.
Tip #3 Take a walk after eating. The fall evenings are beautiful and the air is crisp. Enjoy a stroll around the block while burning some fat.
Tip #4 Save it for later. I promise that overnight the delicious dinner that you had will not rot in the fridge. No one is going to steal it…well maybe, so stash it somewhere safe and eat the rest tomorrow.
Tip #5: Dance with me! Come to my BodyJam Class every Thursday at 7:30pm at Goodlife Hillcrest for a great workout. (A little self promotion doesn't hurt.)

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Etiquette 101: Black People Time

Black People Time (BPT) = Really. Really. Late.

Sorry I'm Late T-Shirt, conveniently worn by a black model.

It's no secret black people have been stereotyped with having difficulty getting to places on time. I can recall numerous occasions where I've had to confirm with my friends whether their event would be running on white or black time. Personally, I am always on time. If you tell me to arrive at 6:00pm, you can trust I'll be there at 6:00pm. This trait however, was not hereditary. My mom couldn't be on time if you paid her (sorry mom).  As a child after always being the last to arrive at birthday parties when the food was cold and soggy, I made a promise to myself that I would not be that black person. The worst part was when you actually did arrive hours later, everyone wants to know why you're so late... but there's no grand story to tell. 

"Wow, you're really late, what were you doing?"

"Nothing..."

"Did your parents car break down?"

"No..."

"Did you.."

"No...I'm just late."

So I was destined to break the mold and pave the way for my generation to arrive on time. But clearly I've failed. This is not to be taken as a rant. But I'm tired of Black People Time! This past weekend I celebrated my 23rd birthday. (Parrrtayy!) And having recognized the tendencies of some of my black friends, I told them the party started 30 minutes early than it actually did. Black People Time 7:30pm. White People Time 8:00pm. But little did I know BPT has been pushed back a few hours! Yes, hours! According to my beliefs and www.blackpeopletime.com,  BPT was only supposed be thirty seven minutes behind WPT. (Yes there is a website designated to BPT, this is how serious this epidemic has gotten!) My friends didn't arrive until 9:00pm and on wards. Outrageous! I mean, thanks for coming and all but like really?

Anyways, maybe this did turn into a rant. I'm sorry but young black people need to hear this. We need to unite and end the stereotype that our parents have created. I'm trying but I can't do this alone! 

HELP ME END BLACK PEOPLE TIME AND SAVE OUR RACE! 

A Debt-Free Long Weekend

Now, I'm no financial expert but I know what the red in my bank account means. I also know how it got there; The Long Weekend. Each Long Weekend gives you that extra day to spend more money on drinks, food and entertainment. When it’s time to go back to work I always find myself more tired than I've ever been but, taking an extra day off just isn't an option...why? Because I've spent every penny in my bank account for the sole purpose of enjoying myself! 

Whether its renting a cottage or hosting a BBQ, the long list of activities turns into a long Visa statement. But surly it doesn't mean we have to go broke in the process. So I've taken the time to make a list of free things that you can do on the next long weekend. That’s right FREE things. Things that will keep your account in the black.

Okay... I'm exaggerating just a tad. But, truth be told, long weekends are expensive. Half the time I forget what holiday it is or which royal family member is being honored. All I know is I'm going all out! Eating, drinking, movieing, CHA-CHING! Yes! Cha-chinging.

1. TAKE A WALK. Not to the mall! Head down to the beaches and just people watch. It may sound silly, but it is actually quite enjoyable and you never know what craziness you'll see, for free.

2. MOVIE MARATHON. If the weather is gloomy, this is the perfect time to catch up on old classic movies. Forget Cineplex with its $13.00 ticket, $20.00 popcorn and $1,000,000 tax! Go to the library and stock up on all those movies that you never got to see in theater, for free.

3. POTLUCK: Maybe you're a foodie like I am and the long weekend cannot end without some good eats. No problem, just make it a potluck. It'll relieve some stress off your wallet, free up some of your time and add variety to the menu. Just make sure everyone is bringing something different, one can only eat so much potato salad.

Having a blast with friends and family doesn't have to cost your winter's savings. Sometimes you have the greatest enjoyment when you are just simply do nothing.

T-MINUS 36 DAYS UNTIL THE NEXT LONG WEEKEND!!!